Brave post. We're brought up being told that we love all our children equally, but as a father of five, I can tell you that you have your favourites. It does however change over time, as their personalities change and as does your situation, and who was your favourite loses the crown and someone else takes over. Maybe it will be the same with you, and over time, these feelings will change. Maybe it won't, but lots of people don't have perfect relationships with their children.